How do you feel when you find your child misbehaving or when he refuses to listen to you? What remains your reaction when your children argue amongst themselves incessantly or just don’t do their homework despite several reminders? Don’t you feel angry and want to give them some good loud scolding? If this is so, you are not the only one! It does happen with a lot of parents out there.
After all, anger is a natural emotion that we all experience at one point or the other. However, it mostly stands useless when it comes to raising the kids. This makes it absolutely essential to commit to anger management when raising your child. You must realize that your anger is a “You problem.” If you recognize this and attend to it, half your job is done. Sure, you need to be firm with them, but does that mean you should express anger? Absolutely not! Today’s generation is different, and they won’t respect you if you don’t respect them.
The fact is that kids always look up to their parents even though they might not admit it. How you “act” around your children will shape their future and form their psyche. Thus, it is vital to have specific strategies to manage your anger.
This piece from us, at Excelsior American School, a renowned International School in Gurgaon, aims to make you aware of some of the best anger management strategies that you might want to consider when in front of your children. These strategies will work for most people, but it is essential to experiment with different approaches and find what works best for you.
How Does Your Anger Transmission Affect Your Children?
Before we delve into the ways for controlling your anger, it’s imperative to know how your mood affects your children psychologically. When a child is exposed to anger, he/she experiences various emotions. The child will feel fear, anxiety, depression, and antisocial behavior. It has been seen that children who experience irritation in their interactions with their parents generally have more negative self-perceptions and a lower sense of self-worth.
Your ill temper can also make your child angry, and it can manifest itself in various ways. It can be internalized, which is when a child wants to punish themselves for being angry. It may lead them to self-harm or engage in aggressive behavior towards others. The child could also express their anger by refusing to do what they are asked. While toddlers and preschoolers react to anger by becoming tense, withdrawn, and fearful. Preschoolers cry or lose control of bodily functions like bowel movements. Anger can also influence how children respond in the classroom and impacts their relationships with other children.
Providing a safe haven for your kids is one of the best ways to help them cope with their emotions, especially the negative ones. Now that you have been aware of the cause and effect, let’s move forward.
Do Not Forget Who You Are to Your Child!
When you are angry, you might say or do things that you regret later. But you must realize that it is your child you’re dealing with. It is your duty to nurture and teach them good values and the importance of sound principles. When you start to get angry, remind yourself that you have to stay calm. If you do so, you can pinpoint the source of your anger and address the issue.
A beneficial tool for solving this is a diary. Note down the situation that made you angry, then go back to it and think how you could have avoided it. Don’t be afraid to take up counseling – it works! We, at Excelsior American School, one of the leading international schools in Gurgaon, have seen that some sectors in society have this primitive perception of counseling being taboo. Let us assure you that they are ill-informed. Getting help to aid your child shows how much you care – there’s nothing wrong with that.
Perhaps the most crucial thing about positively affecting your child is remembering the “little things.” They may seem irrelevant, but they matter. It can be their favorite food, clothes, or aspects that make them happy. It is also vital to engage with them in conversations, such as asking how their day was. It shows them that you want to be a part of their lives and how much you care.
A Final Note of Advice…
The temperament of a child isn’t something that can change overnight. As such, it becomes even more important that you, the parents, work on managing your own temper before it causes permanent damage to the child. Our humble advice from Excelsior American School is that you consider these factors to benefit your children and help them grow into respected and productive members of society.
